Tony stories

There are many stories about Tony. These are told by Tony or others, on TonyTalk or on other shows, and are usually embarrassing.




 * Tony caught his then-gf Gloria getting banged by a used car salesman in a trailer. He bashed on the window and almost broke it in rage.
 * Jesco placed used condoms on the windshield wiper of his car.
 * Jesco also took a shit in the backseat of his car on a drunken night out.
 * Sherry Lynn's daughter Anne Marie threw a water bottle at Tony's head and it drenched him.
 * Michelle had used him as a sugar daddy, making him buy her clothes, shoes, and other accessories.
 * had a confrontation with a cashier in a grocery store and swung a salami roll at the guy and choked him with it.
 * had another confrontation with a stunad name Carmen on the sidewalk. The scuffle saw them fall over into a snowbank. Carmen jabbed his knees into Tony's balls then they fell into a snowbank.
 * sometimes broadcasts the show from his toilet. One time DCII was bawling his eyes out with a sob story as Tony was noticeably relieving himself.
 * went to an Italian fair with his girlfriend but was denied access to ride a police horse as he was too heavy.
 * went to a restaurant with Cadillac Joe, who stunk out the bathroom so bad they both got thrown out.
 * has said numerous racial slurs on the show, some unintentional, though the infamous 'chink' word was used in racial hatred.
 * got a Blue Yeti USB Microphone but couldn't figure out how to get it working. He paid a neighbor kid $20 to do it. The kid simply plugged the microphone into a USB slot and pocketed the money.
 * on the day of the 9-2-18 show, Tony went to Six Flags with Sherry Lynn. After he got wet in a ride, he went into the parking lot to change his wet shirt for a dry shirt. Security guards caught him and the police accused him of being a sex offender. This put Tony in a bad nervous mood for the show.
 * went to his doctor's office and spent a long time in the bathroom.
 * was at a party, but once the song Gloria by Laura Branigan began, he got emotional and left.
 * exposed his new girlfriend's name and her daughter's name, both sexually.
 * went on a cruise ship with Sherry Lynn and chatted up an ex-porn actress and wondered why Sherry Lynn was upset.
 * sang at Zumix dressed as Prince and singing Prince songs.
 * also dressed as Michael Jackson and sang his songs as well.
 * went to a local hotel to fight Jesco IRL and got banned from the hotel, which upset Tony as he couldn't meet his bocce ball pals there.
 * chickened out of fighting Jesco IRL; claimed the didn't want sores on his knuckles, like Kent Hopper's dick sores.
 * a potential sponsor for the show was to be a local Boston Thai massage place. Tony tried it out. The masseur offered to walk on Tony's back. Whilst doing so she slipped and landed knee-first on Tony's back. The sudden shock and pain made Tony fart. The masseur leapt off and an argument broke out, resulting in Tony being thrown out and the sponsorship deal cancelled.
 * in high school Tony was friends with the only two gay guys in the school. One day the gay guys were having sex in Tony's bedroom with cowboy hats on. Tony's mother walked in on them.
 * on New Year's Eve 1973, Tony wanted a New Year's kiss from a beautiful woman. However, the Chinese food he ate gave him stomach problems. He ran to the bathroom and took a massive shit which stunk out the place. Moment ruined, no kiss for Tony.
 * Tony admits he visited the Alley Bar (a local gay bar in Boston) to thank the local gay fans there, like Thom and Willy Wong. They weren't there but the staff gave him a care package of sexy gay men's underwear. Tony kept the underwear.
 * back in elementary school, undercooked eggs for breakfast gave Tony diarrhea. He shat his pants, which ran down into his shoes. That's how he got the nickname Shitwalker. Farts trigger him as they remind him of this childhood incident.
 * Tony was an uber driver in mid-February 2019. He drove a drunk woman for an hour and a half because she kept telling him the wrong directions. The stress made Tony fart and shit his pants, and that made the drunk girl vomit in the back seat of his car.
 * insists that the image of him isn't him, but when Jesco posted an image of him and Tony as the Mario Bros in the BTR chat, Tony stated it was his face.
 * keeps stating that he owns a Chrysler 300, not a Toyota Avalon, but when Willy Wong wanted Tony to pick him up in Texas with the Avalon, Tony states that the Avalon was totaled in the car crash; he does not correct the car model, hinting that he really does/did own a Toyota Avalon, not a Chrysler 300.
 * one time had bondage sex with a lady. Tony was tied to the bed using their collective socks. The socks were so stinky they were grossed out, the mood was killed, and the sex was aborted.
 * gave Jaybo so much stress that he hit the bottle and relapsed into alcoholism and got hospitalized.
 * visited Jaybo in the hospital and told a nurse not to let black people near him.
 * farted in the elevator at the hospital, and blamed the elevator even though he was the only one in it.
 * went to the bathroom at the hospital but didn't shake his dick, leading to piss stains to visibly form on his sweatpants.
 * flirted with the nurses despite wearing a maroon turtleneck sweater with the piss-stained sweatpants.
 * also allegedly tried to have sex with a blood pressure cuff.
 * spam-texted Agatha's phone about cobrajeff, not getting the hint about not blowing her phone up.
 * made a death threat to Gina's boyfriend but soon apologized.
 * made a death threat to cobrajeff but did not apologize.
 * got stressed and loudly passed gas and sprayed air freshener, all on air.
 * has had IBS flare-ups on the air and tried to pass them off as moving the mic or his shorts squeaking on his chair.
 * continues to defecate while running his radio show and screams at anyone who points that out.
 * slept with a 9th-grade girl back in the 10th grade, lost his virginity to her, but lied to everyone saying he was a virgin.
 * thought he had a son but his girlfriend had cheated on him, so the child wasn't his.
 * long-distance dated Anita St. Clair, Mike Buchanan's ex-girlfriend wife, mostly to gain intel on Buchanan.
 * doesn't even wash his hands after shitting on the air.
 * accidentally leaked Jaybo's number on the air and didn't take down the offending episode until days later.
 * as a kid he allegedly brought a meatball sub with him into church and loudly crinkled the deli paper, angering everyone.
 * as a kid he allegedly shoved the statue of Jesus up his ass and waddled around making duck noises.
 * collected outfits worn by musicians. He paid $500 for the suit Prince wore in Purple Rain.
 * dated a blind girl once because she was attractive. He did not have sex with her as she was self-conscious about her looks.
 * gave out Gibson's IP address on the air, crossing a line. He has now sunk as low as Gibson.
 * gave out Doug's phone number and IP on the air.
 * Tony was adopted. His mother gave birth to him as a 16-17 year old and gave him up for adoption. She was a well-known actress at the time and it was a decision influenced by the film studio. She reached out to Tony and made him sign a NDA to hide her identity. Now he is flying to Beverly Hills to meet her.
 * shortly before Tony left for Hollywood, someone shit in Tony's Avalon again. He blamed DCII and Jaybo.
 * left a racist voicemail for DCII about shitting in his car.
 * demanded ownership of the Salami Brigade discord chatroom.
 * was planning on selling invites to the discord room for $100 each.
 * was tempted to dox his trolls to force them to pay the $100 discord entry fee.
 * took up smoking to mingle with the family advisors.
 * took weeks to get the pun behind Self Suck King's name.
 * didn't get the pun behind Tess Stickles' name until the Discord chat pointed it out.
 * hit on his new female neighbor as soon as he met her.
 * thinks he can convert his lesbian neighbor to being hetero through sheer charm.
 * upon receiving a racist email from Doug, he posted the email to a Black Lives Matter forum, along with Doug's personal info.
 * allegedly sent Cobrajeff a jar of Ken's semen.
 * almost read outloud Ashley's home phone Google Hangouts number.
 * accidentally leaked Jaybo's number on-air AGAIN!
 * saw a pic of Tony Ferrar and thought it was an attractive woman.
 * couldn't tell 'faggioli' was an insult, despite the 'fag' part of the word.
 * rented a bike but fell off it, twisting his ankle. He angrily threw bike onto the road and had to limp home, being late for the 08-09-20 show.
 * during cunnilingus foreplay he had to urinate, so he pissed on a wet towel and then banged the woman.
 * lied about not believing the story of Johnny's ship sinking.
 * still believes that BBF dresses as a woman and Nigglesworth as a baby because he hates them.
 * practices Muay Thai but can only do the low kicks.
 * has denied farting or using the toilet during the show, which contradicts testimony from DCII and his own admissions.
 * has implied that he visits or has visited Chaturbate.
 * went on a date with a lady. They went to the beach and ate ice cream on the beach wall. Sully drove past in his truck, laughing at Tony for wearing a sombrero.
 * almost married a neighborhood girl and even purchased the ring but she turned him down, saying it wouldn't work out.
 * lied about never visiting the Alley Bar; as said before, he visited there to greet Thom and Willy Wong but all he got was some underwear.
 * used the toilet during the 08-30-20 show and lied that he was flushing his cat litter.
 * doesn't know what a twink is and thought the caller meant twinkie.
 * opened an email attachment at work of a gaping male anus and a co-worker saw it and now thinks Tony is gay.
 * is allegedly seeking penis enlargement surgery because his fat belly gets in the way.
 * has had one-night stands with ugly women and has escaped out the bathroom windows, and seems proud to have done this.
 * cannot work out the wordplay of bending over for Jesus, to allow him to 'come' inside you, for him to 'shoot ropes' and 'bless' your insides.
 * as a kid he was one time spotted by his mother kneeling near dog feces and mistaken for playing with the turds.
 * almost called Internet Friend a retard.
 * almost called Leroy Jackson the n-word.
 * had sex with a woman who accidentally took a shit on him while riding him.
 * during his month-long retirement in 2021 he visited Johnny's casino and took such a massive dump he clogged the plumbing pipes.
 * hit on some attractive sisters at his church one Easter. They ignored him because they had boyfriends, which he wanted to beat up.
 * in high school he dated a girl named Eileen who was wheelchair-bound. He took her virginity.
 * had sex with a woman who moaned "fuck me daddy" which weirded out Tony and he almost pulled out and aborted the sex.
 * walked some retarded kids home and got a free gold bracelet from their dad. He got a free gold bracelet for his mother too.
 * beat up the neighborhood punk who bullied the aforementioned retarded children.
 * phoned Nintendo to inquire about the alleged game Super Gagario Bros made by them.
 * took consensual nude photos of a woman with his Polaroid camera and hid the photos in a shoebox in his mother's closet. She eventually found them.
 * farted at the dinner table while eating with Anna and her parents.
 * walked out of a date because Anna hugged a male friend of hers.
 * flipped his shit because Anna ate his Little Debbie Fudge Brownies.
 * drives a school bus and gets trolled by the kids.
 * gained 40lbs over 2020 and 2021.
 * smoked a cigarette with a Chinese woman outside a grocery store but she turned down his advances for a blowjob.
 * once had a lady friend accidentally projectile vomit in his mouth, ruining his clothes.
 * knew a slightly retarded kid in his youth called Peaches who was trolled and exploited constantly.
 * knew a friend from his youth named Tommy who had gynecomastia (man boobs).
 * received a plasma TV for Xmas from DCII. Jaybo delivered it to Tony. The box had a dick drawn on it. Jaybo blamed Rico and drove off.
 * while fucking a woman he came and pulled out and tried to catch his own jizz with his hands.
 * wouldn't mind getting pegged by J-Lo.
 * had sex with a woman in a tent at an outdoor concert.
 * got a blowjob while driving past a construction site and was spotted by the workers and cops.
 * subtly admitted to watching Nina Hartly porn while on the air of the 05-01-22 show.
 * hit on a waitress and took her out on a date that same day.
 * spent most of the 13-01-22 show farting and shitting and he never washed his hands.
 * bans callers with mental illnesses like Tourette's syndrome.
 * allegedly doesn't hang up on Filthy Phil Burnell as he is too sexually aroused by his voice and content of the call.
 * had a poster of Raquel Welch on his bedroom wall as a kid and had many a night rubbing himself to her.
 * had Sal and Rico's version of the Blowjob Room song as his ringtone.
 * his girlfriend heard the blowjob room ringtone from Tony's headphones while sleeping in Vegas.
 * took a photo of his email inbox, accidentally revealing his open tabs of plus-size porn, hemorrhoid cream, and Pomeranians.
 * often goes into disturbing detail about torturing and murdering Johnny Longfeather.
 * once saw an attractive woman with a thick ass and fantasized of her sitting on his face and farting.
 * once pointed a loaded Glock at his sister and her boyfriend and threatened to shoot to kill them and her "retarded" dog.
 * plays his own music as he hits the sides!
 * at one point purchased airline tickets to San Antonio, Texas, with the intent to crack Ken's skull open with a bat, but Ken apologized.
 * owns brass knuckles, which are illegal to possess in Massachusetts.
 * almost got into a fistfight with four men in Las Vegas but was able to intimidate them out of conflict.
 * got drunk at the craps table at Las Vegas and slouched off to bed.
 * got into a bar fight one time. The fight ended when the bartender grabbed his gun.
 * read out a caller's phone number live on the air of the Spelling Bee episode.
 * does not know what focaccia bread is.
 * was allegedly saved from a gaggle of Australian tranny hookers in Johnny's casino by Tommy Monaghan.
 * married Anna after realizing they are both getting pretty old.
 * knows how much an average hit contract costs from the Mafia.
 * farted on a bus and blamed an elderly woman sitting next to him.
 * believed that Johnny Depp told Jaybo not to pay his BTR bill
 * allegedly borrowed money from Jaybo to buy his fiancee a wedding ring
 * allegedly went to Walmart to buy the wedding ring and got featured on People of Walmart
 * received $75 from a fan and was told to think about fucking their ass
 * was offered $300m by Disney for a role in the new Pirates movie as a whale
 * works part-time as a custodian, only works 20-40 hours a week and is on SSI
 * confirmed that the image of his fiancee Johnny shared is legit despite it being a random image he found on Google Images
 * emailed his local news to spread the word that Johnny Depp is bothering people
 * confirmed that Jaybo paid for his BTR for a few years and selfishly expected more
 * thinks that the fake UncleT in Discord somehow hacked him and impersonated him in voicechat
 * got an email from a CIA agent who claimed Johnny Longfeather wants to share all his gay porn
 * Tony claims that the voicechat audio from the previous Discord episode is imposed. Oh!
 * lied to DC2: he only lost weight to 375lb, not 300lb as he said to Don
 * revealed he's going bald and spends a lot of money on hair products and hair implants
 * got a hair transplant but the hair didn't take and now he has a purple head
 * purchased a fedora to cover his balding hair instead of listening to DCII's warning of not wasting money
 * is 5'11 and weighs around 375lb... a BMI of 52.3! (though Tony says it's pure muscle)
 * allegedly received $500 from DCII and spent it at a strip club and bragged to Don about it
 * can't pronounce Nostalgia right; he says 'no-stahl-gee-ya'
 * knows what a diseased vagina looks and smells like
 * is into asses and thighs and has a foot fetish
 * used to get emails about a service that removes plungers from asses
 * states he used to have the physique of Ryu from the Street Fighter series
 * seriously believes Johnny is out to really ruin his life somehow
 * wants to gets the gun he threatened his sister with out of storage to shoot and kill Johnny
 * was physically assaulted by his fiancee and either violent struck back or took the beating
 * got into a bare-knuckle boxing match with Ken Fishman and was knocked out in a single punch and then pissed on
 * made a scene at his ex's workplace to confront her because an impersonator of her on Discord called him out
 * met a girl his age (12/13) at summer camp, developed feelings for each other, and so had phone sex when they returned home
 * allegedly calls Kent Hopper and his family pretending to be Ken Fishman
 * masturbated in his local bingo hall downstairs after Mass
 * received (fake) nudes from Veronica and shared them with Johnny Longfeather as proof he still gets the girls
 * sent Veronica a picture of his penis festered with dick sores
 * allegedly believes the cure to COVID is horse semen and had jacked off Domínguez
 * allegedly smeared peanut butter on his genitals to entice Domínguez to do dick-suck, but Domínguez would have preferred Bourbon
 * allegedly applied peanut butter on his anus and grinded his ginormous ass cheeks on Domínguez's giant horse shaft
 * allegedly beats up his neighbourhood dogs
 * is allegedly pregnant and lactates and eats for two #UncleMom
 * impersonated Kent Hopper and stole $10k in donation money
 * stayed five nights in a penthouse suite in Circus Circus in Las Vegas
 * spent the stolen $10k money on a monkey sent up to his hotel room just to examine its penis and testicles
 * spent a further $30k on a prostitute only to call her ugly and masturbate to climax in front of her
 * confirmed he hired a prostitute 25 years ago
 * allegedly died on October 17th, 2022, from an exploded stomach during a food-eating contest.
 * allegedly is in love with Johnny and entered the aforementioned food-eating contest to win the prize money to buy his beloved an engagement ring
 * allegedly went to Canada to receive spiritual healing from Veal, Ken, and Kent. He was put in a padded room, tied to a chair, and was blessed with ropes of salvation
 * admits to painting his nails

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