Barry Schwartz

Barry Schwartz was a bisexual Jewish caller and owner of Barry’s Flower Shop and Pottery Emporium in St. Louis, Missouri. He is an OG BlogTalkRadio personality, calling Clay Douglas' show back in its prime.

Characteristics of Barry's calls include complaining to Tony of receive unwanted bootleg TonyTalk merchandise. When under duress, Barry would comment that he had family members who perished in the Holocaust, and that Clay Douglas called Auschwitz a "summer camp".

Barry become the first advertisement for TonyTalk. However, upon the revelation that Barry's store was stocking and selling unlicensed TonyTalk merchandise, Tony rescinded the plugging and branded Barry a stunad.

Barry's calls are notable for having the longest average call length for a troll that isn't a co-host or hacking. His call on the 2-3-19 show is the longest call so far at almost fifteen minutes.



Character
Barry was straight-forward and to the point, who tries to be nice but will inevitably snap into rudeness when pressed. He has a habit of calling Tony "TonyTalk" much like Joseph Gibson does.

He claims to have had gender reassignment surgery and then took the identity of Caitlyn Schwartz. The surgeons, however, did not remove his penis, so he got gender reassignment surgery again to go back to being a male, which he prefers.

Barry and Steve the Producer and other fans of Clay Douglas met at a restaurant in Big Spring, Texas, for a meet and greet. However, Clay Douglas did not show up. Angered, the 'homosexuals' tore up the restaurant, scaring Jose.

TonyTalk merchandise
Barry's humble flower shop unexpectedly became a mecca of bootleg TonyTalk merch. Products include t-shirts with catchy phrases (e.g. "I'm with stunad"), fart-in-a-jars, pasta-scented candles, Tony-themed inflatable sex dolls (that fart when you poke its belly), squeezing vaginas with Tony's face on them, and masturbation tents.

Tony has blasted Barry for stocking the bootleg merch. Barry claimed to have thrown most of it out, but the fart-in-a-jars sold like hotcakes, and business is business. Jesco has even suggested that Tony eat different stinky foods to create new scents, which got a shouting from Tony.

To boost his business Barry enlisted Madeleine Mitten to model for the TonyTalk shirts. According to Tony she was not wearing pants in the photos. To reward her for her services Barry hit her sides and impregnated her. She thanked him by getting an abortion.

It had been theorized (or rather, lied about to discredit) that Pastor Ken Fishman was the one who sent Barry the TonyTalk merch. Ken professes that it was Kent Hopper who did it. Either way Tony was furious that someone was making money off his likeness and was not receiving a cent.

On the 22-11-19 show, after almost a year of absence, Barry made his glorious return. His store had become almost a porn store overnight due to delivered boxes of TonyTalk-themed porn parodies, all starring Johnny Cocksucker. Tony was furious that the merch had evolved into porn. Barry watched some of it and vouched that it was indeed Tony in the porno.

Due to the COVID-19 coronavirus shutting down businesses, Barry has had to shut down his famed flower shop. Mike Hunt reached out to Barry to sell his bootleg TonyTalk merch out of Mike's gym. This includes new products like Tony sex blowup dolls that emit ragu-scented farts when the belly is pressed. After a two month closure, Barry’s Flower Shop and Pottery Emporium reopened. The TonyTony merchandise quickly sold out, leading to Barry to ask Tony for more, to which he went irate.

Relationships
Barry used to be straight and married at some point; his first wife for seven years, and his second wife for twenty years. The bitter divorce with the second wife made him hate women to the point of becoming gay. The legally-enforced alimony payments to her has made him hate her, and he prays for her death. Tony have his blessing for him to sell TonyTalk merch until he's back on his feet.

In early August 2020 Barry announced his true feelings for Tony: he loved him. He said sexually charged homoerotic things to Tony, including aggressive sodomy. Tony was disgusted and repelled.

Barry has been smitten by Alfonso and the two have been a couple since September 2020. They are currently travelling the world, with Alfonso playing at nightclubs as DJ Horsecock, and Barry selling bootleg TonyTalk merchandise on location. Their next big gig was the 2021 Flower Plower Manpile Extravaganza at the Hotel Settles, scheduled for March 21st 2021. Tony angrily refused an invitation. Due to Barry being a banned caller, Alfonso was also banned by association.

However, in November 2020, Alfonso betrayed Barry by stealing all the merchandise from his flower shop, sold it all on Craigslist and kept all the money, leaving Barry destitute. Tony offered sympathy but ruined this kind gesture with his 'I told you' spiel about karma from selling his unlicensed merch. The reason for Alfonso's betrayal is so far unknown.

Recently
In mid-August 2020, Barry, calling under the guise of Mr. X, told Tony to stop taking DCII's calls as he is allegedly long-winded and boring. DCII countered that Barry is himself long-winded and boring for having the same old bootleg merchandise shtick. This confrontation led to a stressed Tony and a Discord after-show discussion where the future of TonyTalk was discussed. The following show, Barry Mr. X apologized for being out of line. Don likewise apologized and a war was averted.

Barry might possibly be sued by Tony for defamation of character. Barry was selling 500lb life-sized water fountain statues of Tony on a toilet. Tony forwarded the images to his lawyer who said it was grounds for a lawsuit. Tony angrily demanded Barry's contact information, which he did not provide.

Barry slowly rebuilt his business after Alfono's betrayal thanks to more deliveries of TonyTalk merchandise. Barry teamed up with TonysToilet to produce a line of Tony's chunky ragu shit sauce. Whatever sympathy Barry had garnered with his situation was swiftly eroded and replaced with enmity.

The latest concern for Barry's business was the newest model of TonyTalk Blowup Dolls. They sell like hotcakes but are killing him in shipping costs due to being anatomically correct. This means that the dolls weigh about 427lbs each. Tony went ballistic at this revelation and slammed Barry back on the banned list.

As a thank you for the merchandise, Johnny sent Barry a coupon for a free blowjob at his casino. Barry flew there and got his blowjob from an attractive woman named Candace. Barry could afford the plane ticket by selling a new book he wrote: How to Hit the Sides in 20 Easy Lessons. Tony was puzzled that Barry, a homosexual, would go along with it. Tony was also upset because he got a coupon from Johnny to receive a blowjob from a guy.

In late March 2021 Barry did an interview with a local Missouri news station about his unusual flower shop. As a result of the publicity he had over 150 customers lining up outside at opening hours the next morning. Throughout the day he sold almost all the TonyTalk merchandise. He made thousands, and Tony growled as he knew he wouldn't see a cent of the money he sees as rightfully his.

Barry was allegedly running a tourism business where customers are driven around Boston to visit locales where Tony visits. Sully is reported to be the tour bus driver.

In October 2021 Barry allegedly that through late 2021 Tony has been texting, calling, and emailing him with requests for anal sex. Tony strongly denied this.

In January 2022 Barry returned to thank Tony for the merchandise as sales of them got him through Christmas and New Year. He got tossed off the show for calling Tony a "fat fucking guy".

Death
On February 6, 2022, it was reported that Barry Schwartz died on February 1, 2022 at age 58 after being struck by a train. Tony initially dedicated part of the February 13th episode to Barry, but later confessed that he was relieved that Barry had died, believing that this would finally end the marketing of bootleg TonyTalk merchandise.

In June 2022 there was a rivalry between Barry and Jeff. What started on the Salami Brigade room moved to the show when Barry Mr. X publicly called out Jeff. Jeff happily invited Barry to fight him in person and gave him his location. Johnny talked Barry out of conflict, so he no-showed. Barry then apologised for his behaviour and the two buried the hatchet.

Larry
Larry Schwartz is Barry's brother. He is a proprietor of Larry's Luscious Ladies Lounge, an escort service with all kinds of girls for hire, from regular to midgets to burn victims. His first call mortified Tony, who believed Barry faked his death and donned a disguise.

Larry is the boss and spokesman of the Frittata Boys, a violent gang of drag queens hired by Ken Fishman as bodyguards.

Bruce
Bruce is Barry's older brother and runs Barry's business in his place. Tony has gotten them mixed up a few times due to their similar voices and mannerisms. Bruce is bitter at Tony for causing Barry's suicide-by-train.

In January 2023 Tony was vexed by Bruce making bets at Johnny's casino and profiting over bets that Tony wouldn't do TonyTalk shows. Bruce donated a portion of his winnings to Veal's church and has hired Jaybo as his bodyguard. Tony demanded a portion of the winnings since he is directly involved, to which Bruce agreed. Bruce graciously sent Tony a certified cheque of 21c. Tony wanted a return address so he can physically harm Bruce.